Shouzer

I think it’s delightfully obvious that only the Japanese could have invented this. You’d be a fool not to be impressed by stupidity of that bad boy right there. That’s about all there is to that.

It’d be a horribly bad idea in the first place, but on top of the normal level of craziness, it’s USB-powered. You really could only wear it while you’re sitting at the computer. And sure… You’ve got to look good while you’re on the computer–I’ll grant you that. (Not a problem for me. I always look good. Booyah.) But seriously, what if want to look awesome and and stay cool when you’re not sitting in front of the monitor? Well then you’re out of luck, and that’s just sad.

I got a letter today from my grandparents, one from my grandma and one from my grandpa. According to my grandpa’s letter, it was the first time he has written anything since he retired in 1990. I had never thought about it before, but it was the first time I had ever seen his handwriting. It was kind of cool to be the recipient of a letter from someone who hasn’t seen a need to write in 17 years.

In other news, I’m watching the Seinfeld now where Kramer has the idea to start a pizza place where you can cook your own ‘pizza pie’. Jerry claims that there is no one in an walk of life, under any circumstances, would want to cook their own pizza. Well, I disagree. I would love to cook my own pizza right now. I don’t have a kitchen here in Thailand, and I miss cooking a lot. It used to be very relaxing for me, and I really enjoy creating delicious meals. If I found a restaurant in Thailand that let you cook your own food, I’d be all over that action. There are cooking courses, but I’m get so much Thai cuisine that it’s not really worth learning to cook it at this point. Maybe I’ll take one in the last month I’m here so I can bring the goodness home.

My final tidbit is the slightly interesting fact that it is 29 C (84 F) in my apartment right now, and I’m getting cold. I guess I’ve grown somewhat accustomed to the heat here. I’m going to turn the A/C off now.

I happened to catch Michael Moore on The Daily Show the other day.  It was ok, I guess.  I don’t really care for Michael Moore as an interviewee.  Mind you, I happen to thoroughly enjoy his movies.  Crazy fuckin’ communist or not (as Team America seems to make him out to be), I think he makes some good sense.  Bush == Bad.  Hurray, I agree!  I guess it doesn’t take much…

That being said, I don’t think he makes for a great interview.  He tries to be funny, and he’s really not.  That alone ruins it.  Despite this, his new movie SiCKO should be something most Americans can rally behind.  I find it hard to believe there’s a lot of people out there (particularly those in the middle class) who think the healthcare system in the US is as good as it should be.

So I have to admit I was surprised to hear from Moore that he was bumped from Larry King for Paris Hilton.  Paris fucking Hilton.  That’s just sad.  Probably more than healthcare, that’s the thing wrong with America.  She shouldn’t be news.  Ever.  EVER.  Apparently the interview brought in the highest ratings Larry King has ever gotten, so I guess I can’t blame him, though he’s basically feeding the monster.

Whatever.

I was sort of half watching last weekend’s NASCAR race.  I normally keep my distance from this stuff, because it burns.  Megan’s brother was there though, and I figured I could at least pay attention.  It turned out to be a major disappointment.  Rain delay after rain delay eventually caused the officials to call the race.

Watching this, I realized that NASCAR can in no way be considered a sport.  There was some rain on the track, so they quit.  They just quit and gave the win to Jeff Gordon, because he was in front at the time.  I’m sure he was happy about it, but I’m sorry–that’s just plain pitiful.  They’re literally driving around in cars.  Rain is going to stop some cars?  “Ooh, but it’s too dangerous.”  Well then slow the fuck down.  If you’re too stupid to drive 200+ miles per hour in pouring rain, you might deserve to get in an accident.

A football game would never get canceled because of rain.  Quite the opposite, I’m sure.  People enjoy rain and snow games more.  Why?  Because that’s what a sport is.  Baseball falls into the same category as NASCAR, unfortunately.  But at least they makeup the rained out games or play the rest later.

Got the cable phone modem at the house on Wednesday. It works really, really well and is quite a bit cheaper than going with a land line through Verizon. I still get about 6000Kbps download speed when plugged into my router, and about 2000Kbps on wireless. Jared came over yesterday. He brought his MacBook in and proceeded to test at 7500Kbps over the wireless. So it must be a problem with my pos laptop. I just updated the drivers, but to no avail.

I’ve got a bunch more articles that I wanted to post links to and comment about. Some of this stuff is just so stupid; I’m consistently amazed by the level of idiocy displayed by our government and, by proxy, our citizens.

First off is this story from /. about a new database the government wants to create. They call it a “no-work” database and liken it to the similarly named no-fly list. The idea is that it would be a database maintained by Homeland Security which would hold the names and records people whom it deems ineligible to work in the US. Ah, so we’re back to blacklisting people, eh? “Communist! You’ll never work in this country again!”

Next is this heartwarming tale of the Smithsonian toning down science, in order to appease the Bush administration. The basic idea is that they created an exhibit on climate change, but then removed the scientific conclusions and “[muddied] the displayed data” in order to “ensure that the exhibit would not offend the Congress or the White House”. Really? That’s what science should be concerned about? Jefferson once said, “Liberty is the great parent of science and virtue; and a Nation will be great in both, in proportion as it is free”. In essence, take stifle science and you stifle freedom. Sure, that’s a simplification, but the point is valid. Oh, founding fathers… You say we have a right to bear arms, but who cares what else you said…

Third is this ridiculous case of some guy using free WiFi. Regardless of what he ended up with ($400 fine and 40 hours of community service), he was facing a 5 year felony conviction and a $10,000 fine. That’s just wrong. Reading the story, you find out that the guy parked his car outside a coffee shop and used their free wireless internet. He didn’t know it was illegal, the coffee shop owner didn’t know it was illegal, and the cop didn’t arrest him right away…because he didn’t know it was illegal. Nonetheless, the perp was eventually brought in and charged.

To use a few different analogies, here’s what I find just plain wrong. (Note: Some of these are adaptations of comments that I happen to agree with). In order to get on the network, the guy’s computer had to make a DHCP request. This is, in all actuality, his computer asking if it can get on the network. The router responds by saying, “Yes. Yes, you can. Here’s your IP, a gateway, and some DNS info.” Voila! Permission granted. Case closed. If he had turned off DHCP, routed new users to a page that outlined the rules, or secured his network it would be an entirely different situation.

For instance, I would very much consider an open network with an SSID that is being broadcasted as an invitation to use the network. It would be like leaving your door open. Not broadcasting the SSID would be like shutting the door. Adding some security would be like locking the door. These seem like varying degrees of invitation to me. Bear in mind that even with the door open, the computer is asking the router for permission to “enter” the network. If somebody walks up to my house and asks to use the bathroom, I certainly have the right to say no, whether or not my door is open.

Finally, and perhaps most ludicrous, is this story. It basically talks about some teachers in the UK who don’t teach the holocaust, because their muslim students don’t believe in it. Who the fuck cares? It happened. I’m sick of schools bending to the whims of religion and dumbass parents. I don’t want my kid’s education ruined because you’re a moron. They mention that there’s a similar issue with teaching the Crusades, as it seems the local mosques have different teachings. Honestly, who gives a shit? If I was a teacher and one of my students told me their church said the earth was flat, I’d tell them they’re wrong and not to mention it again. It’d be that simple. The same would go for evolution. As far as science is concerned, it’s the best explanation. Science gave us modern medicine. Science gave us flight. Science gave us computers and the internet. Science gave us radio and phones. Fundamentalist, conservative religion did not.

[Update:]  Oh, and Charlie Frye apparently thinks he’s going to be the starter for the Browns.   What is he, high?  He really believes they drafted Brady Quinn to be a backup?  I mean, let’s just say he’s technically right and he starts this year.  I still count that as wrong.  The Browns have no intention of considering Charlie Frye their “starter”.

Geez. There’s really not much more to say. Geez. I caught this article on ESPN, and I have to admit that I’m amazed at the idiocy of what Portis says. For those of you who don’t know, Michael Vick has been linked to dog fighting lately. In particular, a house owned by him was raided a few weeks ago and there were a number of malnourished and untreated dogs found.

As the story has gone on, it’s looked more and more like Vick was directly involved. Frankly, I have no doubt that he’s guilty. Given all the evidence released so far, and the people who have come out and said he was not only cognizant of it but also participated in it… It just doesn’t seem like a tough case for the (future) prosecution to make.

So, getting that little bit of history out of the way, we get to Clinton Portis (henceforth referred to as “Dumbass”). Dumbass apparently thinks that dog fighting isn’t that big of a deal. Dumbass said, “I don’t know if he was fighting dogs or not, but it’s his property, it’s his dog.”

What really strikes me as ironic is Dumbass doesn’t see the analogousness of this statement to what a plantation owner 200 years ago might say about a black slave. Not that long ago, blacks were considered property in many parts of the country. In fact, you could do pretty much whatever you wanted to them, because they were your property. I believe it was legal to kill a slave if you were punishing him, or something like that. Why? Well, he was your property.  In Dumbass’s own words, the slavemaster probably would have said, “I think people should mind their business.”

I think the moral of the story is Dumbass should shut his mouth. The world might be just a little better.

So, read this and tell me something doesn’t sound wrong with that first sentence.  I mean, I guess I’m glad the House is doing this.  But, eh…  Was it really necessary?  I should hope not.

The item to which the title speaks of is this: Withholding weather information. It happens every day on the teasers for the evening and nightly news. You’ve heard it before. The lead anchor gets a 6 second spot where he blurts out something along the lines of, “What’s the chance of rain tomorrow? Find out tonight at 9.” And then you’re back to your show. Why not just tell me in that 6 seconds what the chance is, and spare me the trouble of waiting. The local news should not be competing with other programs in its timeslot for viewers. That’s insane. The news should be a daily staple of American life, regardless of viewership. But this is what their tactics suggest they are doing. If the local television news is competing with anyone, it should be the internet, especially for a topic such as the weather. When I want to know the weather, I want to know it now, not later. By reminding me that I don’t know the chance of rain tomorrow only sends me to the internet for the answer. I don’t wait around for the 9 o’clock news to get my weather fix. It’s counterintuitive, if you ask me, and I just don’t understand.

So if you read Juvers’ blog (new link over to the right), you know about the asinine ways of the City of Champaign Parking District. I didn’t look, but I think I’ve posted on here before about their rate increases that make inflation seem like a blue light special. To be really quick about the light in which I think of them, I’d say they work pretty close to Lucifer himself.

Anyway, last Tuesday, I had a meeting over at Wohlers Hall to work on a project. 3:30 pm. The walk to the Wohlers computer lab takes me right past my car, which is parked snugly on the side of the road at the intersection of 3rd and Chalmers. At this time, my car is in its rightful place. My meeting ends at 6:15 pm, and I start the journey back to my apartment, listening to Under0ath on my iPod. As my apartment building comes into sight, I realize I am standing directly in the middle of where my car once was and still should be. Dude, where the f— is my car?

First instinct. Call the tow-truck company that is sovereign over my street. You see, there must have been a jealous tow truck owner up here at some point who caused a stir and got the streets divided among the various trucks. It sounds immature, but like I said, we’re not coloring with the brightest crayons here. Back to the story. Andy, of Andy’s Towing, says tells me he didn’t tow a car matching my description that night — in fact, he hadn’t towed any cars that night.

Second instinct. My car got stolen. I go downstairs to tell Jared, and we share a “damnthatsucks” laugh or two. And then I started doubting myself. Did I really see my car there on my walk over to Wohlers? It’s possible that I completely missed its absence, while focusing on how much I didn’t want to be going out to do homework. So I gave ol’ Andy another ring. Could my car have been towed last night, I ask. No, again, but Andy has an idea to call the Champaign Police Department and get their take. Wonderful. It was like getting Star Power in Guitar Hero 2. The fiend who took my car was racking up 4x combo points while I tried to find him, but once I had contact an organization of the City of Champaign, he tilted his guitar and promptly entered the zone of the 8x multiplier.

So I called the number Andy gave me, and sure enough, the City of Champaign had towed my car from the parking spot that I paid for with half a grand and 2 pounds of flesh. Instead of telling me why in a declarative sentence, such as “Your car fell apart,” or “The K-9 unit found all your crack cocaine,” she poses the answer to me in a question. “Do you have up to date registration?” The heck if I know. I hadn’t seen a letter from the state telling me to get my stickers renewed, so I assumed all was well. I conceded that I might be wrong, and asked how to rescue my motor vehicle from its imprisonment. My car was impounded at Tatman’s towing (the Northeast side of Urbana), and the city had a hold on it there. First, I must acquire said updated registration and insurance, provide proof of these at the Police Department, and bring newly required “let go of my car” document to Tatman’s.

I made a mistake here. No, it was a smart thing to ask, it’s just the answer made me salivate the way you do right before you vomit. I called Tatman’s to ask, “How much does this cost?” If I get my car before 3pm the next day (it was still Tuesday night), then my fee would only be $125. Ever day in the pound, it accumulates another $25, and if I come to get it between the hours of 7 pm-7 am, there would be an extra $10 service charge.

Well, luckily, my mom didn’t have anything big at work the next day, and even luckier, she found that letter from the state underneath my entertainment center at home. This is where some of my mail ends up when people put it on top of my TV when I am out town. A gust of air, the mail falls down, and I never know it was delivered. She generously got my new sticker, an insurance card (since my current card was locked in my car in Urbana), and drove them up Wednesday morning.

No crazy happenings at the PD, except that the lady photocopied every legal document I had on my person and then called my insurance company to verify my policy, as if I was part of a big scam to PAY THE CITY MORE MONEY. She gave me my hold release, and we made the trip over to Tatman’s where they wouldn’t take my check because its number was below the mandatory 500 mark. I supposed my money was no good to them. So my mom paid in cash. After signing a release document, the secretary gives me the “I’m only the messenger” look, complete with words, “I’m only the messenger.” She hands me a ticket from the City for $25. What for? The same gosh darned reason that they towed my car! Overdue sticker. Can they legally give me that ticket without me driving my car? I declined to ask, because it is my opinion that if you are in hell, and you see a light, run as fast as you can and never look back. I went to Public Works, paid the ticket, and tried to remember I only had to live in the confines of this city for another 4 weeks.

Ok, I’m done now.

So, we pay Insight every month for something. I’m not sure what that something is, but I know we do, because Kyle comes down to my room occasionally asking for a check. Honestly, for all I know, he’s sequestering that money for himself–I’d say I’m rather credulous when it comes to my friends. My trust is starting to wane, though.

I guess our cable TV service is decent, but honestly it’s not like I’ve ever had bad cable, so I expect it to work as it does. We get digital cable, which is to say that we get a few more channels, but we need an ugly box in our living room to view them. I guess this thing wields some occult power, as we can only watch the channels through the magic box. Perhaps there are mini Jack Hannas or Steve Irwins inside who wrestle the otherwise untamed digital signal into something our feeble TV can handle? Whatever the case, the service is thus relegated to something less than what it could be. Moreover, the “special” channels that flow through the thing can’t easily be recorded by the Media Center.

With that out of the way, I come to the crux of our (read: my) complaint against Insight. To put it bluntly, our internet service is typically pathetic and, at times, altogether useless. They claim it’s “fastester”, but unless that means something other than what it should (who the hell knows anyway?), it’s an outright lie. It’s been quite a while since I’ve had to bear 56k, but from what I recollect, it wasn’t much worse than this.

If I want to watch a clip on YouTube, the steps are typically something like this:

1. Open YouTube in Firefox
2. Wait 2-3 minutes
3. Search for video
4. Wait 2-3 minutes, AGAIN
5. Click on video
6. Go to bathroom, likely even take a shower
7. THEN, wait 15 damn minutes
8. Watch video halfway through
9. Wait another 15 god damn minutes
10. Though I’ve lost interest by this time, finish watching the video
11. Rinse
12. Repeat

I can only conjecture that somebody at Insight is using all the bandwidth to bolster his private porn collection. Or, perhaps more likely, he’s spreading his porn across the web like some kind of p2p professional. I guess in that case it could be construed as “sharing”, which intimates that at least he’s congenial. But, honestly, how much porn does this guy have to give? Naively, I guess, I thought at some point he’d grow weary of the long hours he spends staring at his porn and give it up in pursuit of something more constructive.

Well, it certainly hasn’t happened yet. This guy’s got some fortitude.

This one goes out to all the ladies and cross-dressers out there. (Here’s lookin’ at you, Kyle.) Almay Hydracolor Lipstick boasts:
100 X more water than regular lipsticks.
Source, Almay website

Now I’ll be the first to admit that I know very little about lipstick, but watering stuff down is generally frowned upon. Can you image that with other products? ‘Drink Guinness, now 100X more diluted.’ I don’t think that would work. I’ll bet they charge more for it that regular lipstick too. I’m going to go check now.

Cost of Almay Hydracolo on Walgreens.com: $8.49
Cost of Cover Girl Continuous Color (selected randomly from a list of lipsticks) on Walgreens.com: $5.49

Makes sense to me.

[Edit:] I forgot to mention that I saw a commercial for this stuff on TV. I did not actively seek it out. That would be weird.

In fact, one study found that up to 70% of people who had herpes got it from their partner when their partner had no signs or symptoms of an outbreak.
Source, Valtrex website

I keep seeing these commercials on TV for Valtrex that quote that stat. I want to say that again, 70% of people get herpes when their partner had no symptoms or signs of an outbreak. Using my superior powers of logic and reasoning (and subtraction), I calculate that 30% of people get genital herpes when their partner had symptoms. Can you imagine that? 30% of people were so horny, drunk, or stupid that they would do the nasty despite seeing that their partner had genital herpes. I find that to be incredibly astounding.

Last night, my roommate and I went to Dairy Queen to get some dilly bars. We had a bet on the first Super Bowl commercial, each loser had to buy 6 Dilly Bars. I was one of those losers. Really though, the bet was structured so that we would all be winners because we were all going to partake in an equal number of Dilly Bars, and Dilly Bars are delicious.

On the way home from Dairy Queen, we had this conversation:
“It’s really cold, we should make hot chocolate to go with these Dilly Bars.” ~him
“Yeah, that sounds great, but we’re running low.” ~me
“I was going to buy more anyway, we’ll just stop by Basler’s on the way home.” ~him
“I don’t know….it’s kind of the end of hot chocolate season. I thought we rationed it pretty well. I don’t think I would buy more.” ~me making a big mistake
“Oh, I know Alton Brown melted fudgecicles to make hot chocolate, and he said it was really good.” ~him
“I’m game.” ~me

We did in fact go to Basler’s to buy fudgecicles, and we did make hot chocolate out of them. We melted all 12 fudgecicles, and they made about 1 cup of hot chocolate. Let me just say that it was amazing. You have never tasted hot chocolate this good. We even seasoned it with a little chili pepper. Oh man, it was great.

Notice I said 12 fudgecicles melted down to about 1 cup of hot chocolate. That means we each had a 1/2 a cup of this stuff. (Our other roommate was already asleep.) So we each drank 6 fudgecicles while eating a dilly bar. This stuff was to hot chocolate what espresso is to coffee. It was incredibly strong, and probably incredibly stupid. I didn’t sleep too well last night. (Notice the timestamp on this post.)

Both of us just graduated this week so we were a little giddy about that. It was probably a good time to have done that sort of thing. We’ll call it a graduation celebration. Yeah, that’s a good excuse.

The stupid Bears won the stupid NFC championship game, and our stupid neighbors wouldn’t quit yelling after all their stupid touchdowns. The stupid Saints couldn’t stop Chicago’s stupid run game, and now I’ll be wedged into a spot of reading and hearing stupid stories about stupid Chicago for a whole stupid week. I hope all the stupid fans know that the stupid NFC has no chance against either stupid team from the AFC.