Shouzer

Chad Johnson legally changed his name to Chad Javon Ocho Cinco.  I don’t care what anyone says, that’s just awesome.  Still, I hope that he gets back to focusing on the Bengals a bit this year, after some of the stuff that went on this offseason.

There’s something about the Olympics that I just love.  I don’t know what it is, but I really can’t get enough of the stuff.  Swimming, Volleyball, Track & Field, Basketball, whatever.  I love it all (with the obvious exception of speed walking and ribbon dancing :)).

While it’s all pretty impressive to watch, I think the single most impressive event for me is the still rings in men’s gymnastics.  The sheer amount of strength that takes is absolutely amazing.  I mean, I can do it, but I’m just surprised there’s so many other people who can, too.

Seriously, though, how weird would it be to win a gold medal, confirming that you’re the best in the world at what you do…only to have to return to work the next week?  I’ve read that a fair number of olympians suffer from depression after returning home, and I can definitely believe it.  One week you’re on top of the world, and the next you’re back at Home Depot.

Something about this story just irks me.  Now, before I get ahead of myself, I want to say that I think major athletes are greedy.  Not each individual necessarily, but as a whole.  Strikes, lockouts, sitting through training camp…  What a joke.  Just do your job and get paid your millions of dollars.

Now, what bothers me about this story is that NFL owners somehow thing it’s wrong that the players get 60% of the revenues.  Really?  They don’t deserve a slim majority of the money the league brings in?  How does that work?  Honestly, even if they’re greedy themselves, they’re still the ones out there making the plays and bringing in the fans.  Nobody goes to a game because they love the owners.  What a joke.

Just about thirteen months ago I shared here that I had been mentioned by name on a story done by an espn.com writer. Today, I have similar news to share. A question that I sent to Jaguars.com senior editor Vic Ketchman was answered in his latest column. I am “Kyle from Carbondale, IL” because I was at work while typing. Great success!

It’s the time of year when readers flock to Juver’s Blog to read an enthusiastic post about how all is right with the world because men are getting paid to cheat at play baseball once more. That post hasn’t arrived yet, but we’ll keep watching for it.

How do I feel about baseball, you ask? Well, since you asked, I loathe baseball. Let me qualify that; it is the MLB, in particular, that I can’t stand. As many of you know, I play some summer whiffle ball and enjoy that thoroughly. I also think fondly of my days as a Little Leaguer. But professional baseball just strikes a nerve with me. It takes away my sports talk radio on my drive home from work because our local Fox Sports Radio affiliate patches in Cubs games. It takes away the mind numbing ESPN afternoon programming that I use to drown out the silence while I play WoW and eat my late lunch. Eventually, it will take the place of such live televised sporting events as college basketball/football, NBA, and NFL. If the MLB backed down, we could just extend those seasons through the summer, and make rational people happy. It takes the place of The Sports Guy’s articles. Fantasy baseball takes the place of conversations with friends. Baseball ruins everything. Baseball is like the guy who speaks at a wedding when the minister askes if anyone has any reason why the two should not be joined in marriage. He (baseball) looks like a fool, and the most important important time (everyday) in the bride and groom’s (my) life is ruined by some uninvited ex-boyfriend (baseball, again) that you hoped had disappeared forever.

I can’t wait until November.

As much as I’d like to root for the AFC West team in the playoffs to do well once the Broncos are out, I just can’t do it when it’s the Chargers. As much as I’d like to root for LT to win a championship, I just can’t do it when his QB is Philip Rivers.

There’s just something about Philip Rivers that makes me hate him. Maybe it’s the fact that he’s a horrible QB, and he doesn’t seem to realize it. Maybe it’s the fact that he’s always whining about something. Maybe it’s the fact that he’s always yelling at his team, even though he makes more mistakes than anybody else out there. Maybe it’s the fact that he’s ridiculously arrogant, and I can’t stand that from good players, much less players who I wouldn’t want as backups.

Don’t even get me started on Merriman. The guy cheats, everybody makes a stink for a couple weeks, and then nobody seems to care anymore. Everybody still thinks he’s the shit. Sorry, I don’t think it’s that hard when you cheat. And yeah, that goes for the Patriots, too. Bitterness? Certainly. Fortunately for me, that doesn’t make it any less true.

Tom Brady just doesn’t impress me. Is he a good QB? Certainly. Is he one of the better QBs in the league? Of course. Is he the greatest that’s ever played? Not even close.  (Well, that’s an overstatement, but I’m trying to make a point).

It’s fairly obvious to me, as it should be to anybody who watches the Pats play, that there’s three big reasons Tom Brady’s numbers are as good as they are. A) Wes Welker B) Randy Moss C) 10 seconds every time he drops back with the ball.

I mean, for real… find me a QB who’s decent to begin with, give him two excellent playmakers and 15 seconds to find a receiver, and I guarantee you he’ll look amazing, too. If anything, Brady’s been much, much less impressive this year than in years past. When they played the Dolphins early in the season and blew them out of the water, Tom Brady made nothing but bad decisions. It didn’t matter, though, because Randy Moss jumped up out of triple coverage and came down with every stupid pass.

Put me in the NFL, give me 20 seconds whenever I drop back, and I’ll at least look as good as Rex Grossman. Sure, that’s not saying a whole lot, but I don’t consider myself NFL talent.

I don’t even care about the Packers. I’ve been rooting for them this year, simple because I love Brett Favre. I just don’t see how you can’t like the guy. He throws an 80-yard TD against the Broncos in overtime, and it doesn’t even really upset me. Now that’s saying something.

I honestly thought the Packers were finished today against the Seahawks when Ryan Grant decided to fumble twice in the first 1:09. But Favre brought them back, and the Packers ended up winning a blowout. I can’t help but hope that the Packers end up upsetting the Pats in the Super Bowl, and that Favre retires on top.

The funny thing is, though, that Favre probably wouldn’t retire even then. Before this year, I thought he was crazy, and he needed to just give it up. He’s definitely brought me around since then, though.

Kyle was explaning to me yesterday that oftentimes cable companies will broadcast a number of channels in HD for free. Typically this means all the major networks like ABC, NBC, CBS, and Fox. As it happens, that’s the case for me with Comcast, and I didn’t even know it. I’ve had my TV for a month now, and I hadn’t watched any HD TV yet.

But late is better than never, I suppose. Right now as I type this, I’m watching the Broncos on Sunday Night Football in glorious HD. It’s really a huge difference compared to standard definition.

Now I just need the Broncos to get their heads out of their asses and finish this game out. So far it looks like they’re trying their best to lose. Two losses in a row is never a good thing, much less four.

Ten minutes ago I came to the conclusion that I seem to have mixed up the order of days in the week. I’m almost 100% certain that yesterday was Friday, and to the best of my knowledge, every Friday night that I’ve ever fallen asleep in life I have awoken to Saturday, be it morning or one late afternoon (ie. “You guys are my friends!”) Well today is not Saturday. It just can’t be. You see, I was looking forward to watching some college football in HD, because this is the first weekend since I’ve had my new Philips 32″ LCD with an ATSC/QAM tuner that receives the four major networks’ hi-definition parallels. So I flipped over to my TiVo guide to check out who was playing the 11:00AM games that I have been with me in the central standard time zone for as long as I can remember. No games. What? No games. Noon? No. One? No. Wouldn’t you, too, start questioning the sun and moon at this point?

So I will be left with ESPN and The Deuce (not in HD. Fsk!) for my football until 2:30, when ABC and CBS decide that their viewing audience will have had enough of cartoons and infomercials. Or maybe the weekend bypassed me this week (it is my first weekend as a 23 yo), and this is actually Monday. That’d be alright because then I would get to see MNF on NBC - d’oh! - ESPN bought that. Can we just skip to Tuesday?

Why yes, Hank Williams Jr, indeed I am ready for some football.  But unfortunately, not just any old football.  No, not like the game that was delivered Thursday night.  Oh, no no no no no.  No, I don’t care for blowouts.  Not one bit.  I particularly don’t care for blowouts by the defending Super Bowl champs.  What fun is that?  No sir, I don’t like it.  I prefer good football.  The Colts took over the game so early in the second half that I turned it off.  It wasn’t even worth watching.

I still can’t really believe that because I now live on the west coast, I’ve gotta be awake at 10am every Sunday to watch the games.  What’s that all about?  Noon was pretty much the perfect time for football.  Not too early, but not too late.  It was a pretty good comfort zone for me.  CST > PST, that’s all I’m saying.  I don’t want to start a fight about it or anything.  I mean, it’s really just a fact.  You can’t argue with facts.

Go Broncos!

Yeah, I would consider paying for this if I was at home:

Link

I probably wouldn’t, but I would consider it. I would love to see Pacman Jones in a wrestling match. Something about that just seems very funny to me.

Everybody that reads this thing knows that I get long-winded about some issue/event in sports occasionally. In addition, since the inception of this blog, I’ve let my love affair with the NBA Draft bleed onto your computer screens. Today, I do both. I’m going to try my hand at a mock draft, and maybe some of you who read a sports article now and then can critique me. I don’t care if you disagree with my team selection, judge my writing.

1. Portland Trailblazers select Greg Oden. Oden has been projected to go here since Clinton’s first term, and it’s still not even the biggest no-brainer of the draft. This is:
2. Seattle Supersonics select Kevin Durant. There is still no hard evidence that Portland is going with Oden; that’s just what everybody believes they will do. It makes no difference to Seattle. This is a two-man draft, so the Sonics just take whomever the Blazers don’t.
3. Atlanta Hawks select Brandan Wright. I don’t think they’re taking Horford, as recent rumors suggest. Even for the Hawks, that’s too much talent duplication. I actually like the idea of passing on Conley here, though. I see the logic that says Brandan Wright + Law/Crittenton is greater than Conley + J. Wright/Thornton. (They’re drafting #11, too).
4. Memphis Grizzlies select Al Horford. Horford compliments Gasol well, and he’s the best available player here.
5. Boston Celtics select Corey Brewer. This is probably the most likely top 10 pick to get traded, but I think if they keep it, they’ll go for Brewer. He’s an upgrade over Wally, and gives them some defense on the perimeter.
6. Milwaukee Bucks select Mike Conley. Their biggest need is SF, but if Conley falls here, I don’t see them passing him up. Jeff Green is a possibility.
7. Minnesota Timberwolves select Jeff Green. A lot of mock drafts have them taking Spencer Hawes, but if Green is still on the board here, I think he’s a steal. A foundation of Randy Foye and Jeff Green isn’t half bad, if they are serious about moving Garnett.
8. Charlotte Bobcats select Yi Jianlian. I’m going out on a limb with this one. I haven’t read of these two being connected at all, but I think it’s a great match. The Bobcats need a center, a scorer, and someone to create some media buzz. I give you Yi.
9. Chicago Bulls select Joakim Noah. This would be a great scenario for Chicago. He can step in and play right now and an immediate upgrade over P.J. Brown. Ty Thomas and Joakim Noah will be busting up weak Eastern Conference front lines for years.
10. Sacramento Kings select Spencer Hawes. I think this is a best case scenario for Sactown, too. He becomes the successor to Brad Miller in the post. Hawes has the most low-post scoring potential of anyone in the draft besides Oden.
11. Atlanta Hawks select Javaris Crittenton. I think they take him over Law because Crittenton plays for Georgia Tech, and they could probably use the home town support. Either way, one of the two goes here.
12. Philadelphia 76ers select Julian Wright. Maybe this is where Al Thornton goes, but my gut says Wright. More upside, and upside means everything on draft night.
13. New Orleans Hornet select Thaddeus Young. Nick Young makes more sense because of the hole at 2-guard, but Thaddeus is a wonderful talent with upside. I’d start him over Peja and lose no sleep.
14. L.A. Clippers select Acie Law. This one should be an easy pick for the Clippers. Cassell is too old to be starting in this league, and Shaun Livingston is rehabbing from one of the worst sports injuries I’ve ever seen.

Well, that’s the lottery. I’m not DraftExpress, Chad Ford, or NBADraft.net, but I think I’ve got some cred.

I was sort of half watching last weekend’s NASCAR race.  I normally keep my distance from this stuff, because it burns.  Megan’s brother was there though, and I figured I could at least pay attention.  It turned out to be a major disappointment.  Rain delay after rain delay eventually caused the officials to call the race.

Watching this, I realized that NASCAR can in no way be considered a sport.  There was some rain on the track, so they quit.  They just quit and gave the win to Jeff Gordon, because he was in front at the time.  I’m sure he was happy about it, but I’m sorry–that’s just plain pitiful.  They’re literally driving around in cars.  Rain is going to stop some cars?  “Ooh, but it’s too dangerous.”  Well then slow the fuck down.  If you’re too stupid to drive 200+ miles per hour in pouring rain, you might deserve to get in an accident.

A football game would never get canceled because of rain.  Quite the opposite, I’m sure.  People enjoy rain and snow games more.  Why?  Because that’s what a sport is.  Baseball falls into the same category as NASCAR, unfortunately.  But at least they makeup the rained out games or play the rest later.

I’ve been reading that the Game 5 performance by Lebron was one of the greatest performances of NBA history. I’ve been reading this, because we still don’t have TV. My parents called DISH Network a while ago, for them to come out and install their satellites (or DISHes, as they must prefer). It was at this point that we were informed it would take about two and half weeks for them to get out here. What’s up with that, honestly?

So, I missed the game. I would have watched the game. I’d been watching a lot of NBA games at the end of school. I wanted to watch the game. But, I missed the game. Damn you, DISH Network!