Shouzer

You’ve got to admit, it would be kind of cool to be able to tell people that you were in one of these planes.  They weren’t really that close to colliding, but they were close enough that they had to take evasive actions.  Then again, I don’t know how soon after that I’d feel like flying over the open ocean…

It’s pretty strange to see things like this, knowing that Scott was there just a few months ago. I honestly haven’t kept up on world news like I probably should have recently, so I don’t know too much about what’s going on.  It sounds to me like there’s people who feel that the current government is really just a proxy for the previous government, which was ousted a few years ago.  Yeah, that would seem to defeat the purpose.

Next up is Google Chrome.  Apparently Google doesn’t think that we have enough browsers between Firefox, IE, Safari, Opera, and whatever else is out there.  They’d rather have their own.  Honestly, I think that’s pretty silly.  Who knows, maybe it’ll be the greatest thing ever, but I doubt it.  Wouldn’t their time be better spent investing in Firefox, which is itself an open source browser?  Hell, they already employ Ben Goodger, who used to be the lead dev on Firefox.

Lastly, I thought this story about the credit card companies and Mythbusters was pretty weak.  Basically, the Mythbusters were going to do a show about RFID hacking, and Visa/Mastercard/AMEX shut them down.  How about instead of trying to hide security flaws, you just fix them?

Al came over to Motown last weekend to visit me. I’d have to say that I had a good time. It was nice having a visitor to hang out with.

On Friday night, we decided to go downtown to check out the awesomeness that is Detroit. I actually hadn’t been there since I was an intern 2 years ago so it was a bit of an experience for me as well. I printed off directions for the drive down there. We were to take I-96 to I-75, then get on I-375 before getting off downtown. We got to the exit for I-75 only to find that it no longer exists. They have completely closed I-96 and I-75 for a mile long stretch near the Canada border.

This would not have been such a big deal if they had bothered to properly guide us with detour signs. We were to take I-75 north, but when we got off the I-96, there were only signs for I-75 south to the left and forward. Al’s new GPS unit instructed us to detour through Canada, which just wasn’t an option as neither of us had our passports. I had to pull a u-turn right in front of the toll booths for the bridge to Canada. People weren’t too happy with me.

There was a guy standing there directing traffic or something. He gave us directions out of there, and Al’s GPS carried us the rest of the way. It was a nice little Friday night adventure.

I saw this over at Penny Arcade, and I thought it was pretty damn cool.  I wouldn’t have the patience (or the skill, for that matter) to do this.

I rarely ever watch commercials anymore, now that TiVo’s got my back. It might sound stupid, but it would actually be pretty hard to go back to watching regular, live TV all the time for all my weekly shows.

I was made painfully aware of that this weekend while I was watching all the NBA playoff games. In the mix of typically horrible crap between the actual games, I happened to catch a few pretty good commercials. For the record, Kyle linked me to one of them first.

Here’re the links to the first, second, and third commercials.

I took my loose change canister to Krogers today to use the Coin Star machine. I had about $123 in change, $112 after the machine took its commission. Awesome.

Included in my change collection of at least 10 years was a few coins from a dead currency, the German Mark, and about 700 pennies.

So, this is just some crazy shit. I couldn’t imagine the shock I’d get if that happened to me.

This is probably stuff you could do without knowing, but I’m bored and can’t sleep so I’m writing a post.

1. My sleep cycle has been crazy since I got back.
It feels ridiculous to call it jet lag at this point, but I feel pretty messed up. Most nights, I’ve been going to bed by 10 and then wanting to sleep for 10-12 hours. Tonight though, I’m not feeling all that tired, and it’s 11:30. I don’t understand this at all.

2. I like Mika
This is another bi-product of living in Prague for a month. I only had a few real options on TV of stuff I could actually understand: CNN International, Euronews, MTV Germany (which occasionally aired shows in their original English with German subtitles, so I got great stuff such as Parental Control and Bam’s Unholy Union), 2-3 other music video stations, and this trashy, wannabe porn station called Eurotic. Therefore, I spent a lot of time watching music videos. I saw this one a lot, and I liked it. I got the album when I got back to the States, and I enjoy it as well.

3. I still haven’t unpacked my suitcase.
Mmmm…..procrastination. There’s mostly a bunch of crap in it that I never use. Although, I have actually used things and then put them back in the suitcase, like my belt. I have no idea why I did that. Maybe I’m an idiot.

4. Mother’s Day is coming soon.
Anybody have any gift ideas for me? I’m drawing a blank this year. Actually, I suck at buying presents, so I draw blanks on almost every occasion such as this.

5. Can I say that I lived in Europe?
Is a month in Europe enough to say that I lived there? One of my life-long goals is to live on all 6 continents, and if I can count Europe, I’m half-way there. I don’t think it really counts, but I’m also not sure what constitutes living in a place. Is it a month? 2? 3? 4? Or is it some other intangible thing?

Yeah, sorry for just wasting that minute of your life, or 5 if you watched the video.

There seems to be a great amount of confusion on the topic of boredom so I thought an in depth discussion of it here might be helpful. The typical boredom conversation runs like this:

“How are you doing?”
“Not bad, a little bored though.”
“Oh, why don’t you ________.”

This suggestion is far from useful; in fact, it is counterproductive. Boredom is not the absence of something to do; it is the absence of entertainment. Bored people seek enjoyment, but all the while, the need for productivity looms over them. Therefore, the last thing a bored person wants to hear when he/she is bored is a suggestion of some chore or self-improvement item to relieve the monotony. There is always something to do, but that does not mean that it will be fun.

Sure, I could be utilizing this long break of mine to better myself. I should be studying for the GRE which I am taking Friday, learning Czech for my upcoming trip, exercising, or helping around the house; but I would rather spend my days in a fruitless and deteriorating attempt to amuse myself. Does that make me lazy? You had better believe it.

Well, as anybody of any sense, I realized long ago that the pink and red Starbursts are far superior to their yellow and orange brethren. Why they still insist upon associating themselves with such lowly members of the Starburst race is beyond me. So, obviously, I decided to email Mars, Inc. and find out if it was possible to buy packages of single colored Starbursts. Here was the reply I received, much to my dismay:

Thank you for your email.

Wish we had better news. Currently, there are no plans to package individual flavors. We appreciate your feedback and have shared your comments with our Marketing Team.

Have a great day!

It was certainly no surprise that they appreciated my feedback. After all, I’m basically an expert on candy. What did surprise me a bit was that they claim to have “shared [my] comments with [their] Marketing Team”. Hm… Did “Marketing Team” really need caps? I doubt it, honestly. That’s another issue altogether, I suppose.

More importantly, does that mean nobody over there has ever actually thought to sell those things in red and/or pink only varieties? Are you kidding me? Hell, the only reason I don’t buy Starburst on a daily basis is because I refuse to choke down the other flavors, and it’s simply a waste to throw them out. Kyle would probably eat them, but that’s much more of a workaround than an actual solution. As you can see, I’m confounded.

I’m thinking somebody should probably start a petition. As you all most certainly know, petitions always get the job done. Shoot, I can definitely almost guarantee you this one will work. So Scott, I leave it to you. I’ll even be your first signature.

If you’ve known me for the past year, you know that I frequent a little site called SlickDeals way more than I should. While I have reached unhealthy levels of messageboard reading, I have gained new and creative ways to shop. Never again will I pay MSRP for an item. Let me give you an example.

There’s this Christmas present I’ve been wanting to buy for Ashley and its MSRP is $350. That’s a load because if you check any of the major retailers (Best Buy, Circuit City, Office Depot, Staples, Amazon, Buy.com, Target, Wal-Mart), you’ll find that half of them have it listed at $300 on a weekly basis. There’s the first trap you could fall into: not shopping around. So 300. That’s still too much for me. Check the online retailers. Amazon, Buy.com, and a few other specialty stores. Find 275 here and there. Nope. Try Pricegrabber.com and Froogle.com (they need to become your friends). Find a real nice price at 254.99. Do I purchase? Of course not? I’d be leaving some savings on the table. Go to Staples.com, home of the 110% price match. That means if you find a price that is lower than their, they’ll drop their price and give you 10% extra of the difference between the two. For an added bonus, I check eBay for coupons. Sure enough, there’s a $30 off $150 coupon for $3. Get that. Call 18003STAPLE. Talk to a CSR. Will you price match? Yes, but I have to include the overnight shipping price ($16) in the lower total. Bull. Hang up. Call again. Will you price match? Yes, I will. The new lady only needs to include 2 day shipping ($2). That’s what I’m talkin’ about. Ok, do the PM. Add the coupon. Call it a day. So that MSRP of $350 got shaved to a slender $236 with just a little work.

Online shopping really is where it’s at.

Quite possibly the single greatest innovation that is a direct result of the internet is online shopping. To be honest, I’m not entirely sure if you can still call it shopping. Somebody might want to check that. Every time I go shopping, my feet end up hurting from standing around all day. Shopping online results in little more than the lower half of my body going to sleep as I sit for hours at my computer.

I’ve almost finished getting gifts for everybody on my “list”, and I barely moved. There’s really only one word for that–glorious. I suppose fantastic or amazing would work just as well. So there’s about three words. Just the same, it’s great. Oh, there’s four.

Anyhow, I’ve lost focus. Not only is my hand the only thing moving when I order online, but the stuff gets delivered to my doorstep. I don’t even have to walk to a register. It’s just here. They usually give me a tracking number and everything so that I know when when it should be here. Everything should be that easy

To top off the whole experience, I could have been in nothing but my underwear; my skivvies, if you will. Oh sure, I was fully clothed this time, but what about next time? Or the time after that? It’s hard to tell. It might be something to keep in mind when you’re unwrapping my gifts.

So I stayed up relatively late anyway, but now I can’t get to sleep. If I’d have know this was going to happen, I’d have just kept the TV on longer.. Anyway, I got bored lying around unable to sleep, so I snapped a pic with my phone and decided to upload it. The result is below. Damn, I look good.

So there’s definitely some things I’d like to get my hands on. First of all, I want an iPhone. The damn thing hasn’t been released, but you know Apple is planning that shit. It’d be pimp if they had some beta testing program I could be a part of. As a recent convert to the Mac cult, I believe I’d be a prime candidate. I could also start a propaganda machine or something. Resistance is futile.

Number two on the list is probably Halo 3. I’ve been thinking for a while that I could really go for some of that action. After all, who couldn’t? “Oh, me? I don’t like Halo. I think the Master Chief is a punk.” Nobody has ever said that to me, and until I hear it, I refuse to believe it. We played some 5v5 Halo 2 the other night, and that really only served to spark the flame. I was on fire most of the night. Anyway, the trailer they showed at e3 was amazing, and I can’t wait to get my hands on it. Bungie, if you’re reading (and, come on, we both know you are), I’d also be open to some sort of beta program here.

I think next would have to be for Studio 60 to not get cancelled. The show certainly hasn’t lived up to Sports Night or The West Wing yet, but I definitely think it’s got potential. Personally, I love Matthew Perry in that show, and I don’t think it’d be an overstatement to say that Jason has a mancrush on him. As for the comparisons to prior Sorkin shows, to be fair, The West Wing didn’t show many similarities to Sports Night until it had been on for a while either. If you’re not watching it, start. That’s really all there is to that.

Let’s see.. I also want Firefly to come back. That show was the best damn show there’s ever been, and it didn’t last more than a season. How weak is that? Very. The only conclusion I can really gather from that is people are just generally dumb. Seriously, there’s been like 83 seasons of Survivor, and Firefly can’t catch a break? That’s ridiculous.

I want Apple to release a true video iPod with a widescreen, touchscreen interface. That would be the sex, to quote Kyle. It’s been rumored for a while, a LONG while, but the only thing we’ve ever seen were fake mockups, and that’s just nowhere near as fun as the real thing. When I got my mp3 player (thanks again, Anita!), iPods really were a bit of a joke in terms of functionality to cost ratio. The only thing they had going for them was the “cool” factor, which again, is more or less a sign of the stupidity of people. But nowadays, they actually are up there with everything else.

I’d like for the new Bourne movie to go ahead and get released. I’ve had the second one on DVD for a while now, so it seems like they’d be on that shit pretty soon. I have no idea when, in reality. It could be 13 years out, but I hope not–my guess is that Matt Damon wouldn’t have the same badass aura then that he does now. I could be wrong.. He could be like William Shatner, a badass at age 75.

Next on my ongoing list is I’d like Microsoft to fix the brokeass functionality of the 360 when it comes to streaming media over the network. Right now you can stream music, and that works like a charm. It’s great, as a matter of fact. Great, I tell you. Kyle routinely streams music off my computer to his 360 (ahem, asshole). But how god damn hard is it to include a couple decent codecs (DivX anyone?) and let you stream videos from your pc? They wonder why people mod their Xboxen.. Well this is the reason. Get over yourselves and WMV. It blows.

Well, that looks like it’s about it for now. I might have to bust out a post like this every once in a blue moon.

[Edit:] OMFG! How could I forgot? The mother of all things I want! Check out the last item in this ad. Absolutely amazing? I know it is, and you know it is.  Who doesn’t want a nerf sniper rifle?

This semester has been the craziest one of my four years in school.  I can’t really complain, because it’s been job interviews that have made me so busy.  Still, though, for a period of 3 weeks in a row I was hopping on a plane to head to the west coast for 3 or 4 days at a time.  The trips were pretty cool, but it still gets to you after a while.  I always planned to make myself useful on the plane, but I never got around to that.  I watched the in-flight movies instead.  Speaking of which, do not watch The Devil Wears Prada.

Right now, well obviously not at this very moment, I’m sitting at my computer trying to find classes for next semester.  I’ve more or less decided that I’m going to figure out who I have to email to find out about taking classes as pass/fail next semester.  It would be great if I could take a load of easy classes.  Wish me luck.

I suppose that I’ve had a subconcious desire for cake recently…or something. To be quite honest, it was a secret hidden even from me. I had absolutely no idea, until the other day when I was listing aloud a few things we needed form the store.

“Milk, eggs, OJ.”
Hm, so far so good.
“Bread, cereal, cheese.”
Well, this all seems rather reasonable.
“CAKE.”
Eh.. wtf?

I can’t claim to know where it came from, but cake leapt out of my mouth. Al maintains that I belted it with authority, and I’m apt to believe him.

The way I see it, there is only one possibility, and I can’t believe I didn’t see it coming. I was temporarily possessed by a cake-loving demon. You see, the explanation is simple really. I’ve been watching the show Supernatural recently. As such, I’ve gained a keen knowledge of the paranormal and the occult.

What appears to the average person, that is to say you, as a strange slip of the tongue, is to the trained eye a possession. However, you’ll be happy to know that I’ve decided that I should take up hunting the supernatural as a profession. It was, no doubt, fate that brought the demon to me.

For the doubters among you, look up the names of the actors in the show. You’d be a fool to believe it coincidence that one of the actor’s names is Jared. Oh yeah, I just blew your mind.

Speaking of TV shows that have me in them, do you remember the show The Pretender? The main character had the same first and last name as me. I suppose I should sue or something. I’ve been watching a good deal of Boston Legal lately, and I’m sure I could win. My psychic, supernatural-fighting powers would make it a lock.

I’m not sure what I’d spend the money on. Maybe a cake.