Shouzer

After Kyle’s post, I couldn’t help but post a few of my favorite Will Ferrell clips:

I saw this guy on Saturday, and I had to have a picture.

In fact, one study found that up to 70% of people who had herpes got it from their partner when their partner had no signs or symptoms of an outbreak.
Source, Valtrex website

I keep seeing these commercials on TV for Valtrex that quote that stat. I want to say that again, 70% of people get herpes when their partner had no symptoms or signs of an outbreak. Using my superior powers of logic and reasoning (and subtraction), I calculate that 30% of people get genital herpes when their partner had symptoms. Can you imagine that? 30% of people were so horny, drunk, or stupid that they would do the nasty despite seeing that their partner had genital herpes. I find that to be incredibly astounding.

Some of you know that I’m an avid reader of The Sports Guy at ESPN Page 2. I want to quote for you a paragraph from his most recent blog, because I felt like it was time that I, and maybe you, together as ‘we’ take a second look at Justin Timberlake.

It’s a tie between Justin Timberlake and Chase Budinger for “white guy who does the best job transcending his whiteness.” Justin Timberlake is performing right now, although he made the tragic decision not to sing “D*** in a Box.” Hey, it’s OK to think he’s talented, right? Two hit albums AND he’s one of the best SNL hosts ever AND he sold at the highest point possible on Britney’s stock AND he wrote the best revenge song ever (the “Cry Me A River” song that pretty much murdered Britney’s soul) AND he’s plowing through every hot female in Hollywood right now. He’s a hero, I say.

I do not have a great reason why I went to my 12 o’clock Intro to Foods class today. But, I did. It is, what I would call, an easy high school class. Attendance not required. I walked away with a funny story. The class is 50 minutes long. 25 minutes in, two guys enter the class and sit one row behind me. The only though running through my head: “Why bother?”. They sit down, no notes, and one of them has chosen to eat an apple. Ten minutes later, I realize we’re getting close to the end of the notes packet, and we are going to adjourn prematurely today. I laugh a little on the inside, because not only did these guys show up with the maximum potential of only getting half the lecture material, but now they aren’t even going to get that. So class ends, and I stand up to leave. The apple eater asks me a direct question, “What class is this?”. “Wow,” I think to myself, “he’s gotten so little from today’s class that he’s not entirely sure he even entered the correct classroom.” No, I was wrong. “FSHN 101,” I said. The girl sitting beside me asks them, “Aren’t you in this class?” I was going to avoid that question. “No,” the non-apple eater remarks, “we just got out of our last class early and came for the comfy chairs.” I exited my row and left the building. That’s my story for the day.

One more thing before I go, which I thought of as I was walking back from said class. Why is it that we put salt on the ground to melt the snow, but in chemistry, we mix it with ice to make the ice colder?

I had an interview with a company back in August that I was pretty interested in working for, and they said they wanted to talk again in October.  I have been trying to get this guy on the phone all month with no success.  He’s not returning my calls either.  So today, I figured I would throw up a hail marry attempt to get a phone call.  My plan was to leave a voice mail that sounded like a was a desperate guy who’s girlfriend wasn’t returning his calls.  I was then going to tell him I was joking, but that I would still like to hear from him.  It was supposed to sound something like this:

“Hello, this is Scott.  We talked back in August, and you mentioned that you wanted to speak again in October.  I’ve been trying to get a hold of you all month, but you haven’t been returning my calls.  What happened?  Don’t you love me any more!?  Just kidding.  Seriously though, it would be nice to hear from you again.  My number is xxx-xxx-xxxx.  Please give me a call.”

Unfortunately, I pulled a Beltran.  In other words, I choked hard.  It came out something like this:

“Hello, this is Scott.  We spoke back in August, and you said you wanted to speak again in October.  Well, it’s the last day of the month, and I haven’t heard from you yet.  I’d like to know what’s going on, so please give me a call.  My number is xxx-xxx-xxxx.”

When it came time to pull the trigger on the punch line, I just couldn’t muster the courage.  So I ended up sounding like a pathetic loser instead of a suave player.

 Update [11-2-06]:  He called me back today, and it was one of the weirdest phone calls ever.  I apologized for the awkward message, and I explained what happened.  He apologized for not calling me back sooner.  Then, he wanted to know about my senior design project.  I told him what I am doing, and he seemed to be pretty impressed with it.  He asked me to send him an email with some pictures of the project, and he offered to donate hardware if we needed it.  I still cannot figure out why.  There was no mention of a job or an upcoming interview.  I am so confused.

I just got back from Denver. I’ll probably post later about the Broncos/Colts game.. We’ll see. Anyhow, when I sat down at my computer, I had a message waiting from my friend Alex with a link to this. From a comedy standpoint, this stuff never gets old.

Before you do anything anything today, take a lesson from our president. I’m off to eat the lunch, and maybe go to the malls.

See, this is the way that I wish all businesses and such could joke with each other. Sure, Microsoft has done some bad things in the past and almost got broken up for them, but it really does seem like they’re doing things differently now. They’re putting out better software, the competition is out there and allowed to survive, and they just seem to have a better overall corporate attitude.

One of my roommates and I went to Ann Arbor yesterday to go to a comedy club.  We went a few hours early so we could wander around for a while and take in the sights of the city.  It’s a pretty artsy little place with tons of hippies floating around; I was obviously not a huge fan of this feature.  It was a good time though, and it was nice to get out the apartment for a while.  The opening comic was really good; probably the best that I’ve seen live.  The main act wasn’t as good though.  He tried to play off the crowd too much, and it didn’t work out too well.

 The best part of the day though was, as usual, a random event we witnessed.  We were walking down the sidewalk, and we happened to pass by this theater where they were filming some video for a skit or something.  We never figured out what it was for.  Anyway, this limo was supposed to pull up in front of the theater, and a guy was supposed to get out to meet his screaming fans.  When the limo pulled up, it slammed into the back of a mail truck that was parked in front of it.  The funny part was that there was a guy in front directing the limo driver, and when it hit the truck, he was still signaling that the limo had a foot left.  At this point, I just start cracking up as you do when you see somebody make a fool of themselves.  My roommate was chuckling a little, but trying to hide it.  I decided not to care and just laughed as loud as I could.  This in turn earned me some nasty looks from the other people standing around, but I didn’t care because it was just so hilarious.

This was passed along to me by Jordy after I’d seen a similar, shorter version posted on /..  It’s pretty damn funny…and pretty damn sad.

As you well know, I’m a big fan of Penny Arcade.  It’s comics like this that keep me coming back.