If you haven’t seen this movie yet, I wish I was you. The Village was one of the worst movies I’ve seen in a long time – probably since that damn movie Pearl Harbor.. Damn, I hated that movie You don’t go for your friend’s girl just because he’s dead. That’s wrong. Especially when he’s not really dead.
So yeah.. The thing that pisses me off about The Village is that it sucked. Plain and simple. The first hour or so was pretty damn good, actually, and then they must have run out of time and tried to finish it in about 5 minutes. Thank God for that, because if they’d have had 10 minutes, I’m sure it would have been longer..
It started out as a somewhat suspenseful love story time thingamajib. That was bad at all. Sometimes I need my daily dose of love story. So I was down with that. You could even say, if you so dare, that I was “chill” with it. The choice is up to you.
Suddenly, though, the main character gets stabbed by a retarded guy, so his blind fiancee wanders through the forest, which is infested with fake monsters (she finds this out from her father, an elder). She makes her way through the forest to a fence, climbs over, and sees some dude in a jeep. Well, not really sees. You see, she’s blind. I guess he saw her. Anyway, it turns out they’re in a wild life refuge that was set up by her father, because his dad was a billionaire. They’re trying to simplify life or something. They can never leave, but this was a special occasion, because she’s blind and her husband-to-be was stabbed by her retarded friend. On the way through the forest she unwittingly kills the retarded guy. We find out he escaped through the floor of the room he was locked in. She makes it back with medicine to save Joaquin. Yay. Doesn’t that just sound like a load of shit?
Oh yeah, there were some spoilers in there. Too bad for you. Maybe now you won’t see the movie.